Episode 2: Attack of the Apples
by Orlijah Bloomwood
Summary: Please read my sorry excuse for a parody of Star Wars: Episode 2...Involves strange, characters, such as my fave: Senator Spongebob!!!!
1. Chapter WON

~*Disclaimer*~ These characters came from JRR Tolkien, they have nothing to do with me… Hmm… I never thought I would type this, considering I am too lazy to write fanfics…My first fic, flame if u want, I don't care, I will simply hack into ur computer and delete all files…I dunno, spur of the moment piece of crap, very weird…Like I said, not much effort wuz put into this, just practice for other stories, and is pretty stupid… This is wut happens after u just see Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. If u haven't seen it go seen it!!!!! It is the best movie, if u like battle scenes with lightsabers…If u want to read weird stuff also read the elf girl known as Esteladuial, she writes weird stories about Legolas Greenleaf and his cabbage sox, and weird chicken stories…Yeah… onto my piece of fanficraption….  
  
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1 Episode 2: Attack of the Apples  
  
A long time ago in Middle Earth  
  
Not so far, far away…  
  
There lived two hobbits  
  
Their names were Peregrin Took  
  
And Meriadoc Brandybuck  
  
They lived in a time of great peril  
  
When all was not well  
  
As they went with a Fellowship of 9  
  
To Mount Doom  
  
To rid of the evil ring forged by the  
  
Dark Lord Sauron years ago…..  
  
  
  
" OooOoOooOhHhH!! Look Merry!! MUSHROOMS!!!" screeched Pippin in a high- pitched Scottish accent.  
  
" TIME FOR SECOND BREAKFAST!!" Merry said, scrambling over his friend to get at the poor, innocent plants. He ran the very angry Pippin over, leaving him face-down in the mud and twigs of the forest. He looked back and smirked at the fuming, red faced hobbit, sure that he had outsmarted him this time.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Was the cry that sent the poor birdies squawking and flying away, and other forest creatures running for their lives. For Merry had tripped over a tree root and fallen on his little hobbit nose. This gave Pippin the chance to catch up, and he did, stepping on Merry on the way to the mushrooms. He grabbed them and stuffed as many as he could before he was tackled by the psychotic hobbit who now had an assortment of leaves, branches, mud, and little creepy crawly creatures in his hair.  
  
Little did Merry know, they were near the edge of a very high hill. So naturally, this is the part where they fall down, screaming on the way down, tumbling and crashing into each other on the way down.  
  
  
  
But… since this is my messed up story, that ain't happening for a while now…  
  
Before they have a chance to go rolling away, a mysterious hand reaches out from the clouds and plucks them both up, up and away!! Scared they were, for they thought they had just entered an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, and were anxiously awaiting the greeting of the energetic sea sponge. But what scared them was the thought of meeting the horrific, odd, fruity, pink starfish that was Spongebob's companion. They wondered how he could stand him, the stupidity of a creature that mistook West for WEAST, when trying to look for a pirate's treasure. Perhaps he could help on their quest with the fellowship to destroy the ring!!  
  
So, there they were, being carried above all of Middle-Earth, leaving behind their dumbstruck friends, who were jealous they weren't the chosen ones who got to meet Spongebob.  
  
They were on their way…To meet the GREAT ONE, the BIG CHEESE, the Senator of Bikini Bottom!!!  
  
Suddenly, without warning, Merry and Pippin were dropped from the giant hand, which had gnawed fingernails, and yellow fingertips, into the ocean blue below!!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
  
  
Ok, if u wanna know wut happens, review my stupid story…And NO!! I don't want twenty million reviews from my insane friend whom I am talking to on the phone right now…Who sounds like she took a tweaker from Zeke. ( If you've seen The Faculty, you'll know) 


	2. Chapter Toooo

Ok ok…Brought back by popular demand!! PSYCH!!!!! Yeah right, this is just cuz I am bored and desperate for sumthing to do… I will continue…  
  
Disclaimer: Yea yea, u know the drill characters belonging to Tolkien, yada yada… yada sounds like YODA!! The great Yoda also gets credit for this…Oh and the creators of Nickelodeon and the Notorious S.P.O.N.G.E.B.O.B. But!! They are stupid to have had replaced STEVE from BLUE'S CLUES with JOE, his demonically possessed, little kiddie hypnotizer, sent to corrupt the minds of liddle kiddies, BROTHER!!! Aaggh!! Stupid nick jr…. Anyway… Here's more of wut u've all been waiting for…  
  
  
  
Episode 2: Attack of the Apples  
  
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgGGGHHH!!! Aaa-"  
  
Merry and Pippin stopped mid-scream when they hit the freezing cold water.  
  
" I want my mummy!!" wailed the poor, soaking wet, Scottish hobbit.  
  
" I want my mushrooms!! STUPID PIPPIN!! HaD to steal my precioussss breakfast from me!!!" cried the wet, hungry, and very angry Merry.  
  
" Hey… Whatever happened to meeting Spongebob Squarepants?!" he demanded, indignant at the fact he didn't get to meet his idol, and his fresh mushrooms were now all spoiled and soggy and salty and very unfresh.  
  
  
  
Pippin obviously spoke too soon, because as soon as he spoke those words, another hand popped above the surface of the water and pulled the screaming, yelling, screeching, crying for help-oh wait, that's all the same thing; STRUGGLING hobbits underwater.  
  
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They went….. Down to the grand pineapple headquarters in which the oceanic senator Spongebob resided.  
  
They were quickly put into the underwater fruit, to prevent the suffocating of the already mortified hobbit friends.  
  
"ARRRGGHH!!! AHOY MATEYS!!!" Patchy the Pirate greeted them, with a jab of his hook at each of them.  
  
"AAARRGGH!!! No need to be shy!! 'Tis Patchy the Pirate at your service!!" he shouted, while doing some sort of dance with his peg-leg a–tap-tap- tappin the beat to the song he started to sing.  
  
"OOOOOOHHH!!!! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA??!!" Patchy yelled at the top of his ash-filled, former smoker, lungs.  
  
"SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!!" Pippin & Merry yelled in response, pulling out random Spongebob merchandise, which included: Spongebob t-shirts, Spongebob flags, Spongebob boxers (which Pippin looked very attractive in),  
  
a yellow foam hand which had "Spongebob's #1" on it, soda cups, and assorted toys featuring Sandy Cheeks, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and the stoned Squidward.  
  
"ABSORBANT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE!!!"  
  
"SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!!"  
  
"IF POLITICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING U WISH!!!!"  
  
"SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!!"  
  
"THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE PAT BUCHANAN'S PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN!!!"  
  
"SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!!" Merry shouted once again. With the little Scottish boy raising his eyebrow at Patchy's last somewhat insulting verse.  
  
"HEY!! I VOTED FOR HIM!!! Pippin shouted indignantly.  
  
"READY HOBBITS?!"  
  
"SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!! SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!! SENATOR SQUAREPANTS!! SENAATOOOOR SQUAREPANTS!!" Merry shouted alone, for poor Pippin was too busy crossing his arms and making funny faces in attempts to frown and pout. (For adorable Pippin has never once been unhappy in his life. Awww…Poor cutie…) But was abruptly interrupted when Patchy started coughing.  
  
"Hahaha!! That's what you get, you evil pirate!! Humph…Supporters of Bush…Grrr…" Pippin muttered.  
  
Merry then starts playing the tooting part with a official Spongebob Squarepants tooter thingy.  
  
"Arrrgh!! Why didn'tcha sing along, little Scottish one?!" Patchy said, now very grumpy, which caused his patch to wiggle and his peg leg to make strange noises that resembled nautical termites.  
  
"YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHY!!!!" the very hot Pippin said with a sexy frown on his beautiful little hobbit face. (His practice earlier had done him some good, after all)  
  
"AAARRGHH!!! FORGET THIS!!! I HATE THESE MIND GAMES & RIDDLES YOUR FOLK LIKE TO PLAY!!! I'M GOING BACK TO ME SHIP!!" the very frustrated Patchy screamed. He then proceeded to limp away like a scared little girl.  
  
"Look what you've gone and done Pippin!! Everywhere we go!! You ALWAYS stir up some sort of trouble!! Now let's just go meet the Senator before you can terrorize any more nautical friendly friendz…" Merry suggested, quite angry because he was actually enjoying the song.  
  
"Oh alright…" Pippin said, looking very sad, yet again. This caused slight wrinkles and crinkles on his perfectly shaped face that looked so angelic even underwater.  
  
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Alright, if you want more, once again, REVIEW!!! And no…Even though I may seem to be an out-of-control Scottish hobbit fan, I am not, for my main obsession is the great Elijah Wood A.K.A. Frodo…  
  
I'm not kidding, I don't like Pippin, or BILLY BOYD!! I'm just saying that…Yeah…  
  
I mean, it's not like I happen to know that he has done foil fencing in 7th grade, Jeet Kune Do, Phillipino Kali, can play the guitar/bass guitar, is a strong tenor, with a light baritone voice, can sing F# to A above middle C over 2 octaves, his favorite drink is Malt Whisky-drinking is one of his hobbies-by the way, and, of course, he has a CLEAN DRIVING LICENSE…Hmm…  
  
NOPE!!! I KNOW NO SUCH THING!!! GET AWAY!!! I DO NOT LIKE BILLY BOYD!!! 


End file.
